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37: S1E37 – Learn English with Crazy Stories – A Celebrity Made Me Pregnant in My Dreams

Episode Notes

Learn English with Crazy Stories

WARNING: The topics covered in this story may be of an adult nature. However, this story is just for fun.

She always felt disappointed in sex. But, then one day, it all changed. However, she didn’t know why it changed until she went to see her doctor.

Transcript
I’ve always been a dreamer. I’ve spent my whole life dreaming; dreaming of being with him. I thought it would be impossible, because he’s famous and has a wife, and me? I’m just a simple girl from a simple family. But, it happened, he came to me in a dream, and now I’m here, 6 months pregnant with his child.
As a young girl in school, I didn’t pay much attention in class. Believe me, I tried, but my fantasies just got the better of me. I’d find myself drifting off in any class. I’d drift off into my dreams of being with him. No boy in my year or school could meet his standards. That’s right! I never had a boyfriend, nor kissed a boy in school. How could I? How could I betray the man of my dreams?
Now, who is this man that I spent so many hours dreaming of? I’ll tell you in a minute. But, I think he’s more than a man. He’s a god, a god among men! His body is just so perfect! Like it’s been finely designed by a machine. A machine that has a kinky side, and likes its men to perfectly sexy! His face is so beautiful! His eyes and that cheeky smile! Apparently, he used to be a footballer, but now, he’s always having his photo taken to model underwear. His name? David Beckham.
People, say that he isn’t the smartest guy out there, but I’m not the smartest girl out there either. Some say he has a squeaky uneducated voice that doesn’t match the manliness of his body, but I don’t care. Anyway, If I had him in my room, he wouldn’t need to speak a word! I’m making myself hot.
My room is full of his photos. I have so many. Posters on my walls, in my draws and even a photoshopped photo of us two together in a photo frame on the bedside cabinet next to my bed. I buy a lot of magazines for men and women, just to check if there are any adverts for underwear or perfume with David in them. I’ve created our own photo album, called ‘David and I’. To see how we have grown throughout the years, no matter the physical distance between us.
I believe that David and I are born to be together. However, there is just one issue; Victoria. Yes, David is married to her! He’s got kids! Those should have been mine! I’ve tried to meet him a few times. Once, I met him at a fashion show. I wasn’t wearing any underwear, and made sure he noticed. He looked at me! I’m sure we shared a connection for the few seconds we looked at each other before security jumped on me. I forgive him; his security must work for Victoria, not him. He wouldn’t do anything to hurt me.
I’ve also sent him some nude photos. I actually got a letter back. He told me to stop, but I’m sure that evil witch, Victoria made him do it. I like to think there is a secret message in the letter, telling me that he loves me. I know we will be together, one day! I believe in destiny.
I always believed I would be the mother of his children. I knew it would happen! I just didn’t know that it would take so long! But, now I’m here, 6 months pregnant with David Beckham’s child. How did it happen?
I usually dream about David, even sexually sometimes. But this time was different. It was romantic, flowers, next to the beach and his breath in my ear. We made love in my dream. I knew this was it! People didn’t believe me, so I had to get some proof. A few weeks later, I went for a pregnancy test, and my dreams had come true; I was pregnant! I was pregnant with David’s child.
People laughed at me, but I knew it was true. It must have been David’s! Ok, I had a few nights with some men, but they always told me that they pulled out before reaching orgasm. Why would they lie? Anyway, I have David’s child inside me. I can feel his DNA inside me.
I tried to contact David with the news, but he didn’t reply. I just got a letter from the Beckham’s lawyer. Again, that must be Victoria doing that. I know that if David knew, he would come to me. I know he had the same dream too.
The future? I will raise my child and call him David. I will teach him who his dad is and how the evil Spice Girl took him away from him. Financially, ok, I haven’t seen any money from David yet, but I have sold my story to those terrible newspapers, like the Sun or the Daily Mail, they buy anything! Their money will help me raise David Junior.

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